A Side of Hope
by x Mew Ryou x
Summary: Ichigo reflects on her love for Masaya and all he did for her while Ryou finally makes a confession. RyouxIchigo. Rated M to be safe for mild lime.


_I can't believe I wrote a lime..._

_ I guess it happens when you read lemons and say "ew, I want something similar but a little less descriptive because that weirds me out a bit too much". So I guess this is mild lime. It's dark (nighttime) and I don't really describe much, so it shouldn't prove offensive. Let me know what you think? And yeah, this is a one-shot. I didn't intend to make it a story really. Just fluffers. Enjoy? (Cringes and slinks away.)_

* * *

**A Side of Hope.**

xx a story in one part. xx

Why did this have to happen? I didn't understand. It didn't make sense! It was unfair.

It seemed like just yesterday Masaya and I had been happily planning our wedding. And then... he was gone. Because Deep Blue no longer existed, he had explained, it was only a matter of time before he would fade away too.

Why didn't you tell me, Masaya? Why did you let me believe that everything would be perfect?

He wanted me to be happy. He wanted me to be strong and unafraid and to keep aiming high. He wanted to spend his last few years with me. Even though I had given my life force to keep him from dying, he explained, he could not allow for me to die. If I sacrificed my power, my life would be cut short. He would have failed. Because, he promised that he would always protect me, and that was the way he knew how. He wanted me to live. He said I had to live.

Even now, years later, I could not forget him. I loved Masaya. Masaya was the only one who loved me in that gentle way of his. Only Masaya.

"Hey, Ichigo. Are you okay?" The voice belonged to Ryou, I realized. And then I remembered that I had fallen asleep during work. They must have placed me on his bed until I woke up.

"Y-yeah..." I muttered, sitting up abruptly, feeling oddly self-conscious and embarassed. Ryou didn't want to hear about me missing Masaya. Surprisingly, he always listened when I talked about Masaya, but I could tell that the conversations always annoyed him.

"You can stay here... or I could walk you home if you want. It's after midnight, though."

"I've been asleep for that long?!" I shouted.

"Yeah. You have. Keiichiro told us not to wake you."

"Oh, sorry then. I guess you probably wanted to sleep." I felt the bed give slightly as Ryou sat down.

In the dim light, the only things I could make out was a sketchy idea of Ryou's face and his aquamarine eyes. I supposed it had something to do with the cat genes; that might be why they seemed to glow. His gaze was intense, but by no means did I feel threatened. As he brushed a warm hand against my cheek, I felt my body relax, although his touch also sent my heart quivering in my chest. I really didn't understand it. Until now I had thought I could only truly have feelings for Masaya, but the warm feeling in my stomach wasn't the usual feeling I got when Ryou was around - it was something deeper.

"You were thinking about Aoyama again, weren't you?"

I confessed, "Yeah. It's... hard."

"It is," he agreed, "But whenever I think about my parents, I remind myself that they wouldn't want me to be sad. They'd want me to keep living my life and do the best I can without them."

"You're right. Masaya said that himself. He told me to move on, but how am I supposed to do that? Masaya's the one who loved me."

Something about Ryou's touch had changed, and I finally realized that he was no longer stroking my face, but had leaned forward and was now kissing me gently.

"Ryou..." I murmured. Why was he acting this way? I had thought up until now that all I had done was aggravate him, but his attention now seemed to speak otherwise.

"Sorry," he muttered, straightening and glancing off towards the window where the moon reflected off his face. His eyes held a faraway look and he seemed more pensive than usual.

The next words out of my mouth surprised me, "I-I-I... didn't say you had to stop."

The blond's face whipped around abruptly, but as it was in shadow again, I could no longer read it, "What?"

I felt my cheeks getting hot, "W-well... I mean..."

"Are you serious?" his voice held a hint of disbelief, but he somehow remained calm.

"I-I..." I could tell I was blushing furiously by now, "Well, I guess what I'm say-..."

Ryou was silent as I struggled with my tongue, and also the familiar sensation of my cat ears and tail appearing, "It was kind of nice... sort of..."

Ryou remained as silent as a grave until finally I realized he had been speaking again, in an uncharacteristically soft and quiet tone, "...you mean by saying it was nice. Don't get my hopes up like that."

"Your what?" Was I even hearing him right?

"It's just like I said, Ichigo. I know you could never love someone like me, and I'm only taking advantage of you. God! I'm so..."

"Wait, what?" Was this some sort of a confession? Surely Ryou didn't actually have feelings for me.

"Nothing. It's nothing."

"No, but! You sounded like you were..."

Ryou scoffed, "Like I was confessing?"

"You mean, you were?" I was confused. There was just no way that... "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I mean... you were always getting angry at me, so I figured that you-"

I was interrupted by Ryou lifting up my chin. I fell silent again and just stared up into his eyes. They started to get smaller and smaller as the blond closed his eyes and were soon replaced by his lips on mine. I knew I wasn't, but the wave of feeling that rushed over me made me feel as if I sinking into something. Suffocating. I reached an arm around him and rested it against his back as I felt myself being lowered onto the bed.

Ryou continued kissing me. His breath was warm against my face and shortly I was kissing him in return, tracing his face with my free hand. He had let me go by now, supporting himself with his hands on either side of my shoulders.

"Ichigo?" he whispered.

"Yeah?" I asked, caught offguard.

"Would you let me make love to you?" He sounded serious, dead serious.

"Wait! What?! What do you..." my voice trailed off as I noted that he had grown silent again.

Still, I found that I had warmed up to him surprisingly quickly. Though his words and actions were often deliberate, there was a precise, measured amount of care in everything that he did. Whenever he teased me or gave me orders, though they infuriated me, they never quite pushed me off the deep end. I had always managed to forgive him. And now I was actually considering his question. Actually considering! I felt my heart rate had quickened again and ventured to place a hand on Ryou's chest. I noticed that his breathing had gone shallow and his heart beat was sounding strongly. And then I noticed something else, as the light caught his face again. I reached my hand up and my fingers brushed against something soft that was protruding from his head. Cat ears, I realized. Ryou hadn't moved. I guess he was still waiting for an answer. I smiled slightly to myself, tugging him back down again and closer to me.

"Okay..." I whispered, as I touched my lips to his forehead.

After a moment's hesitation, I felt Ryou's hands travelling along my collarbone, carefully unbuttoning my blouse. I helped him along, unhooking the lower half of the buttons myself, and our hands met in the middle. He bent lower and I could feel his warm mouth on my fingers. I pulled one of my hands away and instinctively nestled it in his soft hair. I could feel him purring. Purring. The sound set my heart at ease, and I wrapped my arms around his head and pulled him to rest against my breast just as I felt the pressure of my bra give way as he undid the snap with surprising precision.

"S-so... how many times have you done this before?" I asked shakily as I found my voice again.

Ryou lifted his head to glance up into my eyes and I felt my heart melt into a puddle right there.

"What are you talking about, Ichigo? When do you think I have time to waltz around Tokyo and pick up random girls?"

"Hey!" I argued.

"I've never done this before," he answered, and I could tell he was speaking the truth, "And I wasn't going to even think about girls again until I got over you."

"Until you got over...?"

"I love you," he said simply, "What else do I have to say?"

"Ryou..." I stroked his ears gently and felt him loosen up as he sighed.

"I'm sorry that I didn't notice," I finished.

"I should have told you."

I laughed a little, "You know, you just did."

He gave a light nod, "I know."

We fell silent again, Ryou nestled against me, and me stroking his ears.

"Do you want me to continue?"

I felt a smile creep onto my face. This was a side of Ryou I had never seen before. He seemed more human this way - not the overconfident leader, but a real person who had his own set of doubts and insecurities. I found myself loving this part of him. He seemed closer, more tangible.

"Yes," I shifted under him, tugging off his vest. The two of us paused momentarily, knowing what was next. I moved first, fumbling nervously with the zipper on his pants. He was scratching my ears; I noticed that now I was purring softly. I positioned my knees onto either side of him, and he lowered himself onto me, his bare skin brushing against me. I breathed in his scent. He smelled very clean, and I wrapped my arms around him again as he moved, feeling my heart swelling with an indescribable happiness as he made his way into my body. As if somehow our two spirits had momentarily melded into the same person.

A while later I felt uncomfortably warm; my body felt sore and sweat beaded my face.

"Are you okay?" It was Ryou, who was short on breath, but sounded concerned.

"It hurts," I admitted, feeling him release me.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have-" he began apologizing.

"No, no... it's okay!" I managed, pressing a hand to his cheek which he held there, "I let you do this. I don't regret it. Besides... I think I like you this way..."

"Naked?" Ryou snorted, still retaining his odd sense of humor.

"N-no! What I meant was, I like it when you're open like this and not acting all... h-high and mighty and unreachable," I explained.

"Oh."

I laughed slightly, and I saw a hint of a smile on his face.

"Ryou?"

"Yes, Ichigo?"

"I think... I think I can love you."

"You think?"

I shook my head, "Actually, I know I can. Someday."

I saw his face break into a smile. He looked worn out, but the smile was authentic, "I'm glad."


End file.
